I am at a loss for bloggin lately. I mean I have things, but I guess I am really too concerned with my readers. I mean I have 3 whole readers! I read blogs that are WONDERFULLY written. My favorite wonderfully written blog is Courtney K's from Utah. She is an absolutely amazing writer. She definitely writes for her audience. In my writing lessons at school, we dicuss writing for your audience. I will bet you 10 pop tarts if you asked one of my kids what that means they would have no clue...yes, I am THAT good. =)
So my "cure" for my problem is to read A LOT of blogs that are well written and then some that aren't so I can compare and then learn from those...seems like a good idea to me! You agree? If you don't, keep those comments to yourself!
Anyway, sometimes I have these things I want to write about, but I know they won't come out right...but I will keep trying until they do. Sometimes I even go back and reread them after a long time and change them. Today is a day that I can picture a TOTALLY inspiring blog entry, but it probably won't happen. Just pretend it is great okay? You could even comment on it too =)
So today was my first Saturday Gathering after Camp Erin 2008. SG's are a follow up to camp. All the campers from this year are invited every other month for a few hours on a Saturday. We do an opening circle (i will explain that later) and a memory/grief activity and then closing circle.
It is awkward because we haven't seen them in a few months. It is awkward because there are only 7 of us counselors there and the kids are used to 40 of us. So they have a small chance that their own counselor is even there. 20 kids were signed up today, but not everyone made it.
I am always excited to go because during the year I miss my camp friends a TON! I LOVE and adore everyone I work with there! They are wonderful, kind, gentle, HEART of GOLD people. Every stinkin one. We all make a great team together, because we bring a ton of different qualities and mix them all up.
At camp I took special interest from afar (I know that sounds stalkerish) in a girl in the teen girls cabin. I will call her Lucy, because she has a name that isn't very common and I would in no way want anyone to know who she is. The first day we meet the kids is a week before camp. It is a pizza party for everyone to meet each other before camp. Similar to a dog and pony show...if you will. The parents are checking us out the WHOLE TIME. Which in this case I understand. Their already very vulnerable children are going to go to a very intense camp for a weekend. I get it.
Lucy arrived at the pizza party with a hat on and a "I am too cool for this" look on her face. Not a lot of words. I noticed her this night, but thought NOTHING of her.
One week later at camp, I noticed her again. This time I notice she has a hat on again. It is like a guys' hat and it is a little crooked. Totally ghetto, but whatever. I notice her more this time because I realize she looks very similar to a good friend of mine.
The next day, the hat it still on. Very gangsta ( I am still young so I can use the no "r" in that word) like. I thought about her and her hat all day. I analyzed her and her hat all day. I noticed she wore the hat EVERYWHERE. She had the hat on for EVERYTHING.
I noticed that the teen girls are very standoffish with each other and everyone at camp for about the first day and a half. Some stay that way the whole time, but for the most party by Saturday afternoon they open up.
I mentioned something about the hat to my dear from Candice. Candice is a middle school counselor (read: candice is a god-send!) You couldn't pay me enough to work with that age group...they scare me. Their hormones scare me. Candice agreed that there was something strange with the hat.
Sunday morning at breakfast...4 hours prior to departure of Camp Erin 2008...
Lucy's hat is off!
Lucy has a smile on her face.
Lucy is chatting with her cabin mates.
MegPie is smiling.
Candice is smiling.
Candice and I looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking without saying a word.
At closing circle after the campers leave, the staff sits around and bawls together about the weekend. There wouldn't be nearly the bawling if we weren't so freakin tired. But it works for us. We share about the weekend. We share what we got out of it. Some of us cry that NEVER cry. I, on the other hand am not one of those people that don't cry. I CRY ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!
So in closing circle I like to be inspiring, appreciative, and gentle. Kind of like these blogs...
I mentioned how in the movie Big Daddy, starring Adam Sandler, that the little boy wears his "invisible" glasses so that no one can see him. He is suffering the loss of his parents I believe.
I compare Lucy's hat with the glasses. The hat was a comfort to her. She didn't have to open up or "show" anyone who she was. Sunday morning was like a new beginning for her. She didn't need the hat anymore. She felt free and ready to be herself. She really touched me that weekend and I didn't speak to her once.
After my turn in closing circle, Lucy's counselor told us that she said to her that morning, "man if camp was longer I actually would have done the activities." Sunday was the only day she participated for the most part.
Today Lucy showed up. We were very surprised. Today, Lucy had no hat.
I made a point to sit with Lucy at her table of collage making. We got to talking and sharing a few things. She is an AMAZINGLY strong girl.
Lucy's mother passed away and Lucy and her older sister had to be adopted by a friend. What a tough thing when you are in middle school. Lucy is now a Sophomore and seems to be doing well. It was totally her choice to come today. She amazes me. I hope she will come back.
Seeing my old camp friends makes me happy!